One Night
by nikoliacullen
Summary: Edward treats Bella to an enchanting evening but his self control is lost. what will become of his desition and will they be able to live with them selves because of it? okay so my summary is crap, but the story is great so far, give it a chance!review pl
1. Chapter 1

I twisted my head one way then the other. No matter how far I turned my head I still couldn't see the back of my hair. I had never done my hair up on my own and I was just a little self-conscious about it. Downstairs Edward was chatting with Charlie. That made me just a little bit nervous but as long as Edward maintained his gentlemen attitude then everything should be fine. Charlie wouldn't step out of line as long as he was respected. Edward was never anything but respectful.

With one last look I turned and went the top of the stairs. I could hear Charlie talking about a fish he had caught Friday. As I reached the bottom of the stairs Edward quickly made his way to my side and brought his lips down to mine. It was a brief kiss but it was enough to get my heart racing. Charlie walked us out with a sour look on his face. He didn't approve of our relationship but so far he didn't have a reason to object. I waved goodbye to him and moved towards the Volvo where Edward was holding the door open for me.

I smoothed out the folds in my black dress as Edward sat down next to me. He grabbed my nervous hands and a chill ran down my back. "You look fine, please don't worry about your clothes." I could only smile. I had spent nearly 2 hours picking out what I was going to wear. It was about 10 minutes before he arrived that I finally decided on the tiny black dress Alice had gotten me. It didn't reach my knees and it had no straps. When she bought it I was convinced it would never fit me, it just seemed to small. When I put it on though, it fit perfectly, tight in all the right places but comfortable. Charlie would never have let me wear it if Alice hadn't talked him into it. He loved her to death and wouldn't do what ever she asked.

Edward smiled at me as he pulled out of the driveway and started down the road at a legal speed. Once we were out of Charlie's site he picked it up to about 80mph. I sighed and leaned my head back onto the seat. I had no idea where we were going and he refused to tell me. He insisted that I dress for an evening out. As I thought about this I looked over at his attire. He was wearing a jet black suit with the jacket undone. Underneath was a button up shirt of the same color. He looked amazing. Again, like so many times before, I felt inferior to him. He was so perfect and I was just plain. I couldn't compare to his flawlessness. "What is wrong love?" He had seen my staring. "I was just thinking about how perfect you are," I whispered. He chuckled. "If anyone's perfect its you my dear." He reached over and brushed a loose hair from my face. "You have no idea how beautiful you are tonight. I'm using all my self control to keep from pulling over now." That crooked smile crossed his face and I melted. I could feel the blood rush to my face.

We drove for about 20 minutes, a long drive for Edward. Nothing but trees surrounded us. After a while we turned from the main road onto a dirt one. It was pitch black outside our windows and the headlight didn't show us anything other than the road. I steadily got more nervous. It was much to dark here. Edward must have sensed this because he reached out and held my hand. "Don't worry Bella, you'll love this place." "I certainly hope so, what could be this far into the woods and still be a good thing?" He laughed at me. I loved that sound.

After what felt like an hour, we pulled up in front of a small cottage. It was two stories but there could only be one room up there. Edward was already out of the car and opening my door before I could tear my eyes away from the house. He took my hand and lead me up to the front door. "What is this place?" I asked. "Its just a place we sometimes stay when we hunt, its easier to stay here than come all the way home before we're done." I grimaced. This couldn't be that great then. When he opened the door I felt my jaw drop. Inside looked like something out of a movie. In the living room was a huge fire place with a small fire already burning. A giant tiger skin rug lay in front of the fire along with an overly comfortable looking couch, I stepped in further to look around. Edward just let me pass and followed as I made my way to the kitchen. There was a tiny table with a vase of flowers but other than that there was nothing sitting out.

There were 4 bedrooms in the tiny house which wasn't so tiny after all. It was a much longer house than I had thought. Edwards room was the only one on the second floor. Since all the other members of the family were couples they shared rooms. As I thought about that it made me somewhat sad. All those years Edward was alone while Carlisle had Esme, Alice had Jasper, and Emmet had Rosalie. "Bella? Hello?" It took me a minute to realize that Edward was talking to me. "Huh?" "Bella you've been standing here for 10 minutes without saying a word." Had it really been that long? He took my hand and lead me over to a large bed at the back of the room. "Is everything okay?" He was staring into my eyes and I lost focus for a moment. "I was just thinking about your family", I started, "All these years they have all had someone but you … have you always been alone?" My words seemed to surprise him. "Is that really what you're worried about?" I just nodded my head. "Bella just because I didn't have someone like they did doesn't mean I wasn't happy. There wasn't anyone I was attracted too. You're the only one I've wanted even if I didn't know it then." I smiled and brought his lips down to mine.

Edward was in the kitchen doing who knows what while I waited in the living room. I watched the fire light dance on the fur of the tiger. Every now and then I could hear a pan or water so I assumed he was cooking something. I had gotten used to eating with him a while ago. At first I felt awkward eating because he couldn't eat with me. I remembered along time ago when we were first getting to know each other and he asked to eat with him at the Italian place. He had taken a bite of food but that was the only time I ever saw him eat. It was the only time I had ever seen him eat at all. He wouldn't let me come with him when he hunted. Edward entered the room with a tray in his hands. I could smell something wonderful. He came and sat next to me and held out the tray. On it was a salad with an assortment of vegetables and what seemed to be chicken. Whatever dressing he had used was making my mouth water. I smiled and took a bite. It was the single best salad I had ever tasted. "Why is it that a guy that has no need to make or eat food, knows how to make it and make it taste this amazing?" He chuckled at my full mouthed question. "Why don't you try swallowing before you try to ask such a long question." I just smiled and took another bite. "When you live forever, you tend to get a little bored. So a few years back I went to collage to study the culinary arts." Wow, Edward, a cook. I took another bite.

Once I had finished with my meal I rested my head against the back of the couch. Edward removed his jacket and pulled my onto his lap. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly. Before I could removed my lips he pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. He twisted his fingers into my hair and pulled my mouth closer to his. I pulled myself so that I had a leg on either side of his. This must have pleased him, he let out a soft noise and began kissing down my neck and along my collar bone. I arched into him and pushed my body against his. He pulled at my dress but didn't rip it off like I wished he would. His breathing was every bit as ragged as mine. For some reason this made a smile cross my face. It was amazing that someone as perfect as him wanted me so much. "Bella", he moaned against my throat. I answered with another kiss. As I pulled away he lifted me easily and started towards the stairs. I briefly wondered why he was doing this but it passed almost as quickly as it had come.


	2. Chapter 2

Edward carried me all the way over to the bed and sat me down. I could barely control my breathing as he placed his hands on either side of my face. My whole body felt weak as he stared deep into my eyes. There was no worry in his eyes, nothing but want. His hands went from my face to my waist. His mouth met mine and chill passed down my spine. I loved the cold from his lips, it was refreshing. He deepened the kiss and pushed me down onto the bed. He kept his weight off of my but I could still feel his chest against mine. It was so cool with him there, I almost got chills.

He pulled away when he felt me shiver. "Maybe this isn't the best idea," he whispered. I sighed and shut my eyes. "Edward I don't care to be cold, and if this is headed where I think its headed, I don't think we have to worry about me being cold." My smile was mirrored in his face as he got what I mint. He pulled himself onto the bed next to me and ran his fingers along my arm. "Well since you put it that way." He leaned down and kissed my collar bone, slowly going up my neck. I shivered again but this time it have nothing to do with his cold skin. A smile spread over his face. I ran my hand through his hair and brought him down to my mouth. I could kiss him forever and be happy. It didn't appear he felt the same way. His lips became more aggressive as they tore at mine. I was enjoying his new attitude until it became hard to breath.

I tried to pull away but he didn't even seem to notice. Panic was starting to set in when he finally removed his mouth from mine and moved back down to my neck. I took the moment to take several deep breaths. His hands were pulling at my dress but it wasn't enough to rip it. Yet. I tried to grab his face and push it up where I could look at him but he took it the wrong way and attacked my mouth again. I don't know why but I started to feel afraid. I suddenly thought back to all those times he pushed me away in order to salvage his self control. Maybe I had finally pushed him to far. My body tensed under him but there was no change in how he was pulling at me. His breathing was just as harsh as mine. With all my force I pushed at his chest. He didn't even budge a little bit. Fear was overwhelming me. I never thought I would have to be afraid of him. He was the only person I was never afraid of.

Tears burned there way from my eyes and I continued to push at his chest. His mouth moved again to my neck but it was different. His mouth hovered there. I held my breath. Was this going to be it? Was he really going to do it? I held perfectly still while he judged his action. I felt the breath come from his mouth as he opened it. I imagined his teeth inches from my flesh. Time seemed to freeze there. Neither one of us moved. All of a sudden I remember that I had to breath and I took in a huge gulp of air. This seemed to bring Edward back from where he was and I felt him lift away from me. I never realized my eyes were still closed until I looked up into his face. There was nothing there but horror. He knew what he almost did and it was tearing him apart. I didn't know what he was thinking. The look on his face changed as he saw the tears in my eyes. "Bella", he sighed. I couldn't find any words. It was all I could do to keep breathing normally. He reached for my hand but I pulled it away. I could see the hurt in his eyes but my body wouldn't do what I told it. I didn't want to pull away from him, I didn't want to be scared. He stepped away from the bed and leaned against the wall.

As I set up I noticed that my tears may not have been the only things that sent him away. Along both sides of my dress at my hips were four long jagged tears. Where his hands had been. I looked over at him but he did not return my gaze. Though he wasn't looking into my eyes he was looking at me. I wondered if he was looking for some other reason to hate himself more. Suddenly I was able to control my limbs again and I rose off the bed. "Oh Edward," I said as I ran to him. He tensed as I wrapped my arms around his middle. It felt like forever before he put his arms around me. "I'm so sorry Bella, I don't know what I was thinking trying this." I just hugged him tighter. "I thought my self control was great enough to handle it." He pressed his cheek to my head and sighed. We stood there for a long time before he pulled me up into his arms. He walked us over to the bed and placed me on it. His eyes were somewhat glazed as if he were thinking about something else. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into the bed with me. "Edward it's just as much my fault as it yours. I could have stopped this whole thing but I…I just wanted it so bad." I felt my face grow hot and I tried to act like it was nothing. He wasn't fooled though. A smile spread across his perfect face. "I want it every bit as much as you but it was just to risky…and still is," he added at the end.

For some reason I wasn't tired at all. My eyes never drooped at all even though we sat in silence for close to an hour. "Edward?" I asked. "Yes love," he answered. "What exactly am I supposed to tell Charlie when he wants to know where I was all night?" "Alice already called to tell him she was stealing you for the night." "Ah." Charlie would never bother to question Alice. I rolled over to face Edward. He was leaning on his elbow playing with a loose strand of my hair. He seemed so innocent but I knew he was fighting with himself. His conscious must be killing him. I placed my hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes. "Your touch is amazing," he whispered. I smiled and leaned down to kiss him. I sensed his hesitation before he kissed me back. Something seemed to click into place then. I scooted closer to him and pressed my mouth to his. I could tell he was still worried but he didn't entirely fight me. His hand ran down my back but it was much gentler than it was earlier. It may have been gentle but it still caused me to arch into him. He didn't seem to mind it too much.

His breath grew more and more labored and we pushed against each other. This time felt different. His touch was careful. Each move he made was though out before he did it. I knew this was hard for him and part of me yelled to stop. That part just didn't have enough pull. Even with his cold body against mine I still felt my skin getting hotter and hotter. This sprung up an idea. I started to unbutton his shirt. He didn't stop me like I had thought he would. Soon enough I had it off of him and onto the floor. "How much," he gasped, " do you like this dress?" I pulled my lips away from his. "Not enough." A smile broke across his face. He ran his nail down the front of the dress and I felt the sides fall to the bed.

His hands explored my now bare body. I was suddenly very self conscious and blushed. He smiled at me and brought his hands back up to my face. "don't be embarrassed Bella, there is no part of you that isn't beautiful to me." His hand dropped down to my waist to play with the small black thong Alice had insisted I wear for "panty line" purposes. The feel of his hand there caused shivers to run down my spine. My reaction must have pleased him because he dropped his hand lower. I pulled his mouth down to mine. The force of my kiss must have had some affect on him because his hand moved up to my hair and pulled me closer to him. Whatever I had done, it really changed him. His hands held me tighter, his body pressed against me even more. I wasn't sure if I had made the right decision.

My heart pounded against my rib cage. I tried to keep up with his movements but that whole vampire thing made it much too hard. Again, it was all I could to keep breathing. His mouth covered mine and I had to steal breaths when his mouth ventured down my neck. This time I wasn't so much scared as I was anxious. I didn't know what was going to happen. Even if I wanted him to stop, would he?


	3. Chapter 3

There were just too many things going on at once. Edward was steadily shredding the bed into a million pieces, my heart was pounding its way out of my chest, my arms hurt terribly, and I could barely breath. A million thoughts were going through my head as I continued to press against Edwards chest. As odd as it was, I was worried about him almost more than myself. I knew he couldn't control this and I knew once it was over, he wouldn't be able to get through it. How could I even think about that? I was the one possibly about to raped! Here I was fretting over his conscious. What was going on here? Geese.

His hand easily snapped my thin thong and flung it across the room. Fear filled me then and I knew I had to do something or this was going to end very badly. I slipped my arms around his neck and pulled my face up to his ear. "Edward," I whispered as seductively as I could manage. Hopefully he couldn't hear the utter fear in my voice. His whole body froze. I grabbed my moment and moved out from under him. I lay him down on the bed and threw myself on top of him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. With his other hand I felt his pants get pulled away. That would have been exciting if I knew for sure I had this under control. When his arm released me I looked down into his golden eyes. There was lust. That was it.

He was looking at me but there was no doubt in my mind that he didn't even see me. His eyes were totally focused on something beyond me. Everything was eerily quiet. The only sound was our ragged breathing. His hands were gripped on my hips, it hurt but I didn't dare move. Was this my chance to bring him out of it? I took a deep breath and slowly touched his face. The second my hands touched his stone skin, something sparked in his eyes. He grabbed my arms and rolled us off the bed. Again he was on top. This was it, I couldn't do anything. My instincts kicked in and I started screaming as loud as I could. This did nothing except excite him more. He held my flailing arms to the ground. "Edward please!" I screamed but he didn't even act like he heard me. I pulled my legs in between his to try and drag things out. A growl moved through his chest. I continued to scream but no one was going to hear me. 

Edward easily pushed my legs aside and I prepared myself for the absolute worst. This was what I had wanted right? I had tried so many times to get him to do this. Of course I wanted this but not this way. If only he could read my mind like everyone else. Maybe that would stop him. I paused my screaming and looked up at him. He was staring at me like he didn't know who I was. His eyes shot to my neck. I knew he was eyeing my pulsing skin there. Eager eyes moved over my exposed body. He took a deep breath and I knew what was coming next. I held in a deep breath and waited.

Bright bursts of pain blossomed behind my eyes. If I wasn't crying before, I certainly was now. It felt like everything below was waist was on fire. It just kept coming. It would ease for half a second then start again. I was no longer screaming but I knew mumbling between sobs. This was nothing like I had thought it would be. How could everything have gone so wrong. I could just barely hear Edwards moans over the pounding in my ears. My arms no longer fought, they simply fell to the side. The pain continued to burn my insides for a few minutes more before he pulled away. I stayed where I was on the floor. There was no part of me that wanted to move. I didn't want to make the pain worse. 

I don't know what happened to Edward, it took only seconds for unconsciousness to find me. My dreams were filled with a single horribly face staring down at me. It seemed to be chasing me but I couldn't get any farther away from it. It just kept coming and my screams couldn't keep it away. Every now and then I could hear strange noises. They sounded like whimpers. I felt like I should find whoever was doing it and help them. Comfort them. 

Things started to get brighter and brighter through my eyelids. For some reason my whole body was aching. Why couldn't I remember? What did I do? Slowly I opened my eyes and took in the room. I was still in the small house, in the bedroom. When I tried to sit up pain shot through my arms and legs. Suddenly everything came flying back to me. Dinner, Edwards near attack, my pleading, and finally… Tears sprang up out of my eyes and fell silently. I pulled my knees up to my chest and held them. For a few minutes I just let myself cry. I let the pain pore out. I glanced around the room, trying to figure out what was going on now. My tattered dress was still laying on the bed, the thong was on the floor against the wall. All Edwards clothes were laying in a pile near the door. Edward! Where was he? 

I reached behind me and pulled the sheet off the bed. After making sure it was wrapped completely around me, I made my way out of the room. The whole house was silent. He wasn't in the living room. The fire was lit though, making everything warm. I wondered over to the front door, trying to ignore the pain in my lower body. Through the window I could see Edward sitting out front. He wore only a pair of kaki pants and nothing else. I slipped through the door and sat next to him. He didn't look at me. His body was tense. I briefly wondered if he had been like this before I came out. Probably not.

We sat in silence for a long time. Neither one of us even moved. Something felt odd in my stomach. First it almost felt like I was hungry, then it changed to cramps. My arms automatically went to wrap themselves around my torso. Edward glanced over at me and winced. Could I really look that bad? "Bella, lets go inside and… find some clothes for you." I knew why he hesitated there. I needed new clothes because of him. That hadn't been a bad thing at the time, not that it hadn't turned that way. He stood up and held his hand out for mine. Once he had my hand he let me into the house. It seemed like he was trying not to touch me that much. "Edward are you okay?" He stopped dead in his tracks. "Am I okay? Am I okay? Bella how can you even ask that? You should be worried about yourself. I could have killed you last night! I honestly cant believe I didn't!" His voice echoed through the house. I was lost for what to say to him. "Bella how bad did I hurt you?" His eyes moved along my arms and he shuttered. Not understand, I looked down as well. On the upper part of both my arms were large hand shaped bruises. There were also smaller bruises on both my wrists. 

"Edward I don't know what to say, I mean I…" The rest of my words never made it from my mouth as pain shot up from my pelvis. I started to fall when I felt his hands grab my sides. "Damn," he muttered. His arm pulled my legs out from under me as he lifted me up. Before I knew it we were back in his bedroom and I was on the bed. A small scream escaped my lips as he placed his hand on my stomach. "What's wrong Bella? What did I do to you?" His hand left mine for only a second before he was back with a cell phone. "I'm going to call Carlisle." My eyes widened. "No Edward please, it will go away, just wait, please!" He stared at me for a moment then put the phone in his pocket. "What do you want me to do love?" The pain was going away so I just sat silent for a minute and let it pass. Just as I was about to answer his question he gasped. "What? What is it?" I asked as I leaned up onto my elbows. He pulled back my sheet and I gasped with him. There was blood all over the sheet and bed below me. I quickly looked at Edward but he wasn't breathing. His eyes met mine. I stood up and ran for the bathroom, sheet and all. He didn't bother following.

Once inside I threw to now red sheet onto the floor and jumped into the shower. The hot water felt great on my many bruises. The water ran red into the drain. After about 20 minutes it cleared out and I stepped out of the shower. On the toilet was a pile of clothes and a box of pads. Pore Edward, that must have been embarrassing. Before I got dressed I examined myself in the full length mirror. The insides of my legs were covered in dark blue spots. Anyone who looked would know for sure what had happened. I had been raped by the love of my life. He had hurt me worse than James ever could have thought about doing. I couldn't hold back the tears that started to pore down my face.


	4. Chapter 4

The clothes he left for me must have been Esme's. The underwear were obviously new, the tag was still on them. I pulled the white dress over my head and straightened it out. It was a small sundress and barely came to my knees. I walked out of the bathroom and snuck over to the top of the stairs. I could hear Edward's voice as he spoke to Carlisle. Apparently my bloody situation made him change his mind about calling his father. "Carlisle I don't know what I've done to her. You should see her, there is no way all those bruises are not hurting her." His voice trailed off and I waited. "No I didn't. I almost did but she got my attention." After that there were a lot of "hmm" and "mhmm" before he finally said, "I'll let her know, thank you." When I finally heard the click of his phone shutting I made my way down the stairs.

Edward was sitting on the couch. He looked up as I reached the bottom, his eyes combed over my body before he sighed and stood up. "Bella dear, I think we should go see Carlisle. He wants to make sure your okay." He stayed silent for a few minutes, waiting for me to say something. "Edward I want to stay here a little longer." I barely got the last word out before he started yelling. "What? You want to stay here? Bella I don't know if I'm going to be able to control myself, I cant trust me anymore!" He closed his eyes and walked over to lean on the railing of the stairs. "I'm sorry Bella, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I'm sorry for what I've done here. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you!" His voice cracked and I knew he would be crying if he could. "I'm not going to lie to you, you did hurt me," he winced, "but I'm not going to mope around like you think I should. I'm never going to get over this, I'll never forget what happened here. Its going to hurt for the rest of my life. That doesn't mean I hate you and I certainly don't blame you!" He stared at me. "You have warned me time and time again about your self control and I never listened. After what happened the first time, we should have just went home but I pushed you again!" I was yelling at him now, brushing tears away with the back of my hand. "I just wanted things to go like I dreamed they would, I just…" I sank to the floor and held myself. Edward was still standing by the stairs staring at me. "Edward…" I cried. He came over and kneeled next to me. He placed his hands over mine.

We ended up staying until it was nearly dark. Side by side we remained on the floor. He held me in his arms. The fire had burned out a long time ago. It was completely dark when the door burst open and I was wrenched out of Edwards arms. He was slammed against the wall by Emmett and Jasper. I turned to see Alice's face nearly touching mine as she held me against her small form. She looked down and me and seemed shocked. "You're not dead?" "Well duh. Why did you think I would be?" Edward was let down and he ran to my side. They all stared at each other and seemed to relax. "Man we thought you did it!" Emmett exclaimed. "Carlisle said you were coming home and when you didn't we feared the worst," Alice squeaked in her tiny voice. Jasper touched Edwards arm. "I'm sorry, we heard what happened last night so…" Edward just nodded and held me tighter.

We all ran home after that. Edward held me close to him and he charged through the woods. Carlisle was waiting outside when we arrived. He had a grim look on his face. Edward set me down and took a single step towards his father when a pale blur tackled him. I turned to see Rosalie holding Edward to the ground. "How could you! How could you do such a thing! You have no idea what its like to have that happen to you! Why would you hurt her like that!" Her voice was shrill and it hovered in the tree tops. No one said anything. Edward just stared into his sisters face. He didn't fight her. I couldn't take my eyes off her livid face. She wasn't doing this because of me, she was remembering he last night as a human. I dashed forward and grabbed her arm, it wasn't a forceful move. I knew I couldn't stop her but I hoped I could reason with her. "Rosalie please. He knows what he's done!" Her eyes met mine and she reached out and pulled me into a hug. I buried my face in her shoulder. This was the first time she really reached out to me. Her arms wrapped tightly around me. I felt the tears start again. I couldn't help it. They just kept coming and coming.

Eventually Rosalie carried me into the house and Carlisle examined my arms. He wanted to check out the other damage Edward had done. I shuttered but Rosalie said she would stay with me while he did his check. I climbed the stairs slowly while Edward placed his head in his hands. I knew he was thinking the worst. It couldn't be all that bad if I was walking around right? Dread filled me as I cleared the last step. It couldn't be that bad.

Carlisle had me change into a gown before setting me up on a table. "Now Bella, when I say this might be a little cold, don't take it like other doctors. You know how we vampires are." His smile made me feel a little better. "Ready?" I sighed and nodded. I felt his cold hand feeling around. It was uncomfortable but the cold actually helped. He never said anything or made a sound. Rosalie held my hand and tried to smile but I knew she was remembering her horrible experience. Technically she didn't survive it. He reached further in and pain shot through me again. Rosalie squeezed my hand in reassurance. After a few more seconds he stood up and pulled off his latex glove. "Well ladies I would like to go speak with Edward for just a moment." without another word he walked out of the room and left us alone.

I redressed while he was away and then sat quietly with Rose at my side. She seemed to be listening intently. I wondered if she could hear what Carlisle was saying downstairs. She must have noticed my sudden anxiety because she squeezed my hand. It was the first time we were happy for each others company. I couldn't have asked for someone better to be there. She knew what I was going through. Her golden eyes were focused on the door across the room. I wish I knew what she was hearing. Did she already know if something was wrong? It was frustrating to not know. Everyone around me knew what was going on!

I stood up and started across the room, fully intent on finding something out. Rosalie followed me but didn't seem to want to stop me. I just opened the door when pain caught me again. I gripped my stomach and tried to ride it out. Rosalie held my arm to keep me from falling down. "Bella, I have to go, your bleeding." She was gone before I could look up. I reached under my dress and pulled back a hand covered in blood. Edward was next to me then. His arms wrapped around me and ran me to the bathroom. Carlisle was already there waiting for us. His concern was obvious. "Edward help her get cleaned up. Alice brought some clothes but she didn't want to help for obvious reasons." He stepped aside and let us pass. Edward shut the door and set me on the edge of an over sized tub. "Rosalie is sorry she had to run away like she did" "She doesn't need to be, I would never be mad at her for that." He pulled some dark clothes from the toilet seat and held them out for me. There was a pair of brand new sweat pants and a t-shirt. Thank you Alice for being considerate.

"Would you like to take a shower?" I shook my head. "I'll just clean myself up and get dressed, I don't want to shower twice today." Edward pulled a washrag out of a cupboard and handed it to my. His whole body was stiff. Was it the smell of my blood? "Let me know if you need me," he whispered and walked out before I could protest. I quickly wiped up the blood and redressed. Downstairs the whole family was sitting in the living room except Edward. He was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "Bella I would have helped you." "Edward I don't need any help, I'm perfectly capable of walking." He didn't look convinced. Carlisle spoke next. "I think we should talk about that." His words unnerved me worse than anything had so far.

Edward helped me down the last few steps and we walked to the couch where Alice already sat. Her face was grim. Edward held my hands in his, he was moving his fingers over the back of my hand slowly. He wouldn't meet my gaze. Carlisle sighed and walked to stand in front of us. "Now I'm not going to sugar coat this at all, its not the time to spare feelings," he glanced at Edward. "There is some extensive damage done Bella, honestly I cant believe your not down from the pain it should be causing you. Edward tore your insides to shreds, that much was obvious." Edward winced at his truth. "It seems to me that your wounds are healing but when you move around, its tearing them open again. I should have told you before I went to talk to Edward." I looked over at him but he was staring at the floor. "Bella dear, you need to rest. You cant be up moving around for awhile. Your body needs time to heal." I sighed. What was I going to tell Charlie?

Once Carlisle had given me instructions Edward carefully picked up and took me out to his car. Our drive was silent, it reminded me of his behavior before he left me. Fear seized me and I couldn't hold back the tears. As soon as he noticed he pulled over and put his arms around me. "What is wrong love?" I took a deep breath and whispered, "Your going to leave me again!" He froze. His arms tightened around me. "Bella I told you I would never leave again. Never." He pulled away to look at me. "What kind of man would I be if I abandoned you now? This whole situation is my fault. I'm going to do everything I can for you." I continued to cry but the relief was overpowering. He hugged me again before taking the wheel. We drove the rest of the way in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

Charlie didn't seem surprised that I came in so late. It was well after 10pm but he didn't seem to mind at all. "I already ate Bells, did you?" I carefully took the first step on the stairs. "Yeah dad I ate with Alice earlier." "Going to bed already?" "Alice had me running around with her all day, I'm beat." "Well alright then, goodnight kid." "night." The stairs took forever since I was trying not to hurt myself. I stood outside my bedroom door for a few minutes wondering if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Slowly I opened the door. He wasn't there. The Volvo was no longer parked out front. I tried not to worry about his absence. It probably didn't mean anything at all. Maybe he was just talking to Carlisle some more. 

I sat on my bed for a long time. My eyes longed to shut but I just couldn't bring myself to sleep. So much had happened since I left this house. Even though I knew it was nothing I still couldn't help worrying about where Edward was. My whole body ached from the bruises. Finally I gave up on him coming any time soon and I made myself try to sleep. My eyes had no trouble with that, they shut as soon as my head touched the pillow. I really hoped I wasn't going to have nightmares tonight.

When I woke up the next morning I felt pressure on my hip. Panic instantly filled me and I rolled off the bed away from the touch. Without bothering to look at the person touching me I pressed myself against the wall and tried not to gasp. Even when he came closer I didn't realize it was Edward. His hand reached out to me but I cringed away from it. I don't know why I was acting like this. It was like my body knew something I didn't. He pulled back and stared at the floor. I tried as hard as I could to get my breathing under control again. His face was crushed. I was afraid of him. I was actually afraid of Edward. How could that be? I was fine with him last night. I was fine after what he did to me. Why now was I so terrified? Suddenly his head whipped up and he was staring at the floor between us. In all my fear filled rolling I didn't realized the blood that was pooling below me. This was way more than before. I looked at my shaking hands. Edward was at my side now trying to still my vibrating body. His breathing as ragged and fast. The smell of my blood didn't seem to bothering him as much as the site of it. He looked scared to death. If he was scared I definitely should be.

He didn't run me to the bathroom this time. He just wrapped his arms around me. I could feel the pain in my lower body and the blood below us. Edward placed his hand on my stomach and buried his face in my hair. "Bella…" I held onto him. My fear of him was gone. "We have to stop this. You have to tell Charlie what happened so you don't have to go to school." I couldn't believe what he said. Tell Charlie? That was out of the question. "Edward I cant. What do you think he would do? Vampire or not, he would arrest you!" "I deserve it." I grabbed his face and made him look at me. "You're not human, your instincts are so much stronger. Any normal person would never forgive you but I do because I understand. Don't hate yourself because of this." He stared at me for a long time. "Tell Charlie your sick." That much I could do for him.

Charlie wished me well and then left for work. He said he would call the school when he got to the station. As soon as Charlie shut the door Edward was with me in the kitchen. He had begged me to stay in my room after I cleaned up and changed but I was starving. I carefully walked around the kitchen finding everything I would need to make scrambled eggs. I finally thought to put one of those pads on that he had gotten me before. I really hoped I wouldn't need it but seemed to be the best at making things worse. I pulled the eggs out of the microwave and sprinkled cheese all over them. I mixed them up then sat at the table. He watched me eat in silence. "Bella?" I swallowed my bite and looked at him. "How can you stand to be with me? What I did to you was inexcusable and yet you act like it was nothing. Why didn't you run away from me? Or try to hurt me like Rosalie? I just don't understand." I thought over his questions for a long time. I knew what he was saying. No woman would stay with a man that raped her. It wouldn't even be an option. I, on the other hand, had not only stayed but I even tried to comfort him. It was a strange thing. "Well, I guess its because I know you really didn't mean any harm. You just lost control. You could have done so much more but you didn't. I know you would never hurt me just to hurt me." He just stared at me.

I stayed home all day just as Edward had asked. He left to go tell Carlisle what happened this morning. I spent a lot of my time on the couch in the living watching various sitcoms. None of them really mattered to me but I had nothing else to do. Edward had begged me not to walk around while he was gone. I was supposed to wait for him if I needed anything so that he could get it for me. I agreed only because I was afraid of the pain. If I could just stay still long enough then these wounds would heal and I would be done with all of this. Plus it was nice to miss a day of school. I didn't need any one seeing me the way I was right now.

Edward came back later that morning. He looked awful. Could he really be that upset by this. Yes. He would never let this go away. I was till laying down when he came in. Without saying a word he slipped in behind me on the couch. We laid together like that for a long time. His hand wrapped around my waist and rested on my stomach. His body was tense. He was hiding something. Before I could ask he whispered in my ear. "Bella there is something Carlisle was going to tell you but he thought we should wait and see how things went first." He waited for a response but I didn't say anything. "Your not just bleeding because of wounds." My breath caught in my throat. "Bella, Carlisle thinks your bleeding because…your body is trying to get rid of something I put there." He didn't say anything else. What did that mean? What he put there? I turned to face him. He looked devastated and I had no idea why. "Edward I don't under…" I was cut short by what he was holding in his upraised hand. It was a white plastic stick. Realization dawned on me. It was a pregnancy test.

I nearly had a panic attack. That wasn't even supposed to be possible. He hugged my frozen body. "Bella I'm so sorry." I grabbed the stick and made for the stairs. He was right behind me. A short time later we were both hovering over the tiny piece of plastic waiting for something to show up. It seemed like forever that we sat there motionless. Both our eyes never moving. Slowly two tiny pink lines formed on the stick. Before the second one could even fully appear I was crying. Edward put his arm around me. "Carlisle feared this more than anything." I turned my tear filled gaze towards him. "Huh?" "Bella your body is rejecting the baby because its not natural. Carlisle says the vampire blood is foreign and its considered a threat to your body. The only reason you haven't lost it yet is because its blood is replenishing faster than your body can dispel it." I couldn't think of anything to say. "We think you should let Carlisle take it out before things get worse." "Worse?" "The baby is working too hard to survive. He doesn't think it will be able to keep it up for long." More tears came. I hadn't even known I was pregnant for half an hour and I already felt horrible. This innocent little life didn't have a chance because of me. I couldn't stand the thought of it suffering. 

Edward laid with me in my bed until Charlie got home. He hopped out the window when he came to check on me. As soon as he shut the door Edward was with me again. I held the test in my hand, refusing to let it go. I couldn't let this baby suffer. We would have to have it taken out. The last thing I wanted was to let this baby hurt because I was selfish. There was no way to keep the baby. My body just wouldn't allow it. Edward had his head resting on his hand as he watched me twist the test around in my hands. He hadn't said a word. I wondered if this was hurting him in the same way it was hurting me. "Edward?" "Yes love?" "How do you feel about all this?" "I've already told you." "No I mean about me being…about the baby?" He stiffened for a second. Was it because I referred to the baby as something other than it? "Well, I never thought his would happen so I don't know how to think." "You don't have any feelings at all for this baby? It is yours." He stared at me for what had to be 5 minutes before answering. "Bella, when Carlisle first told me he thought that you were pregnant, I felt absolutely horrible. Not because of the baby but because of how it was conceived. I honestly didn't think you would want a child created that way." "Edward as long as you never mint to hurt me it wouldn't matter." A sigh escaped his lips before they locked with mine. 

Not once during the entire night did Edward leave my side. He stayed with his arm protectively around my waist. I didn't dream at all. I actually couldn't believe I even slept. There were so many things to think about. In the morning Charlie took one look at me and decided I wasn't going any where. As soon as I saw him turn the corner, Edwards silver Volvo pulled in. I opened the door as he stepped out. "We're going to see Carlisle," was all he said before pulling me up the stairs. I changed into a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. On the way there Edward was going over a 100mph. He probably didn't realize how hard I was squeezing his hand.


	6. Chapter 6

The big white house was much too quiet. Edward let the car sit in front of the house for a long time before even shutting off the engine. I stared at him. "Bella." His eyes seemed empty. "Bella I wish I could make things better. All of this is my fault. I can see it in your eyes. You haven't said anything but I know what your feeling. I don't have to read your mind for that." There wasn't anything I could think to say. How long had he been dealing with all of this? "If I knew how to save this…our baby, I would." I gasped. He said "our baby". For some reason it both felt wonderful to hear it but it just made things hurt more. "Edward please don't do this to yourself." "Bella I did this!" He pointed at my stomach. "I hurt you more than I could have imagined!" He slammed his fist into the door, leaving a small dent.

We walked into the house in silence. Our hands were locked together but his hand felt odd in mine. Carlisle touched Edwards shoulder. "You spoke with her?" He only nodded. "I hope you know how sorry we all are about this." He took my hand and held it tight in his own. "Carlisle its fine, its something we can get through." A strained growl escaped Edward. He wasn't looking at us. "Son please, things will be fine…" Edward cut him off. "Fine? Things wont be fine! You weren't there with her!" He gestured to me. "I didn't think it would hurt her! She wants this baby and because of me, she cant keep it!" He looked at me. "Bella if there was anything I could do to save this baby I would. You know that right?" "Edward I…" "Maybe we can try something else, if you want a child I'll find a way to give you one." He was on his knees now, holding onto my hands. Where was this all coming from? "Bella I'm so sorry." Carlisle cleared his throat. We both looked at him. "Edward I think I may have an idea."

"Bella do you feel any pain?" Carlisle asked as he squirted gel onto my exposed stomach. "Nope, I haven't felt any since yesterday." "Good." Edward held my hand as Carlisle pressed the ultrasound machine down. There was nothing on the screen at first. We all watched as dark spots appeared and disappeared. "Here we go," Carlisle said. On the screen there was a huge gray spot and then a small dark bean moved into view. In the center of the bean as a pulsing blur. I squeezed Edwards hand. I had seen enough movies to know that was the baby. My eyes turned to Edward but he didn't return my gaze. His eyes were locked on the screen. He looked absolutely mesmerized. Bright colors appeared and we both looked to Carlisle. "Now what you see here is the umbilical cord, these colors are showing me the blood flow. I think your biggest problem is that the baby has vampire in it and Bella's blood is human." "So if the baby was only human it would be fine?" Edward asked. "Or all vampire." Carlisle stared at us both. I didn't understand. "We might be able to save this baby if we give Bella a few blood transfusions a day." My jaw fell open.

We discussed it with Carlisle. He thought it would be very possible. "I thought you guys didn't even have blood?" "No dear we do, it just doesn't flow like yours." I imagined blood frozen in their veins. How odd. "The blood does start to dry up and we hunt to replenish it. If we were to take some from Edward each day and put it into you, I think the baby will be fine. I assume that as a half human it will accept any food you eat as its own." Edward smiled at me. "If you want to try this I'm willing to give all the blood I have." "I think we should use Edwards blood considering he is the father and his should be compatible." I held my still flat stomach. "How can you see the baby already? It was only…it hasn't been long enough." "Well I believe its because the baby is part vampire, the combination must cause accelerated growth. Vampires do everything faster." I saw Edwards smirk out of the corner of my eye. "If you want to attempt this, I suggest we start right away." When Carlisle started to clean Edwards arm for the needle I turned away. Blood.

We got home long before Charlie did. Edward insisted on carrying me up to my bed. He climbed in next to me and held me against him. His breath was cool against my face. I snuggled myself into his neck. It wasn't even 5 and I was so tired. My eyes began close. "Bella if we are going to do this then I'll need to hunt more often." I nodded and continued to drift away. He chuckled. His breathing slowed with mine as I feel asleep. The last thought I has was my wonder about our baby. Our baby.

When I woke up I felt him behind me. He was still with me, laying in bed. My back was pressed against his chest. His hand was on my stomach. It made me smile. "Good morning love." I stretched out and turned to him. He was wearing the same thing from the day before. It was comforting that he hadn't left me. "Good morning." I sat up and started for the bathroom. "You should go home and change." Before he could answer I shut the door. I needed a shower before school. I had just stepped into the water when the door opened. I pulled the curtain and saw Edward standing there. "Your are not going to sch…" His eyes drifted down my body. "…ool" I let a smile out. "Was there something you wanted?" He continued to stare at my chest. "I thought I would make sure you weren't planning on going anywhere." His eyes never moved. I moved the curtain to cover me. "Bella how do you feel?" "I'm just…" His mouth caught mine before I could finish. He pressed me against the wall of the shower. I ran my hands through his hair as water flowed down onto both on us. One of his hands was twisted into my hair and the other was on my back pushing me closer to him. I gasped into his neck. "Edward I want to go today." He kissed my chest. "Lets not talk about that right now." He pressed closer to me. Our bodies seemed bonded together. Pain reached up from my stomach. I winced. He paused and stared at me. "Bella are you alright?" I held my stomach with both hands. "Edward…" He started to panic. I grabbed his hand and held it where mine had been. He waited like I was and suddenly gasped. "Did it…?" I nodded as tears mixed with the water. He dropped to his knees right there in the shower and stared at my stomach. He now had both his hands on me. "Oh my god Bella." I smiled and put my hands over his. He wrapped his arms around my middle and pressed his head lightly against my stomach. It was an amazing feeling.

I finally got Edward to let me go to school on the grounds that we only had a few days left. He stuck the needle full of his blood into my arm before we left. It sent shivers through me. He kissed my arm and started the car. At school he was almost ridiculous. His hands never left my waist. Even while writing in class he kept his hand on my back or leg. At lunch Alice was waiting for us at our usual table. She hugged me and lead me to sit down with her. "Oh Bella we have to go shopping this weekend! There is just so much to get!" I let her chatter away about all the things we would need. She spoke fairly quiet so the other students wouldn't hear us. Edward would laugh every now and then at something she would mention. He played with a stand of my hair. I was relieved when the bell rang and I got my escape from Alice. The rest of the day went by without anything exciting happening. Edward drove me home and left the car parked on the road. He came in with me and carried me up the stairs.

Edward pushed the end of the syringe and I felt the cold blood enter my arm. It gave me chills. He laughed as I shuttered. "Something wrong?" "Just dealing with your cold blood." He laughed again. "I think you can handle it." "Damn right I can." "Bella dear have you thought about telling Charlie?" I froze but this time it had nothing to do with the blood. He obviously took my silence as a no. "We should really discuss this. He's going to know eventually." Of course he would know. I would start showing soon according to Carlisle and even if I could run away for a while, I think he would know when I showed up with a baby. "I think we should wait until after graduation." "That's probably the best idea." "I really doubt I'm going to start showing in the next week right." I laughed but quickly stopped at the look on his face. "I'm not going to am I?" "Carlisle thinks you have about 2 weeks before it could be obvious." 2 weeks? That is not nearly long enough! Charlie would think I was hiding this from him for months. "Great." Edward nodded next to me.

The next few days passed without incident. Charlie didn't know anything and no one at school had a clue. Graduation was 2 days away and I was really beginning to panic. Charlie would have to know at some point but I had no idea how to tell him. Edward wanted me to just come right out and tell him. He thought that was the best way. I found it to be utter suicide. It was bad enough that Charlie hated Edward already. How was he going to react once he knew Edward had "violated" his little girl. I shuttered at the thought. "Bella Alice wants to know if you want to go shopping with her yet." "I told her I wasn't shopping until I knew the sex of the baby." He smiled and put his hand on my slightly bigger stomach. "What do you want it to be?" I stared at him. "I think I want it to be a boy. I want him to look like you." He smiled bigger. "Oh but if she looked like you she would be the luckiest little girl in the world." I had never actually thought about the sex of the baby other than the times Alice had asked about shopping. I put my hands on my stomach and wondered.

The next day Alice dragged me away from Edward to mall after school. I couldn't deny that I needed something to wear for graduation. We wondered around the mall for an hour. Alice couldn't find anything she thought looked good on either one of us. I wasn't showing yet but I looked like I was bloated. We tried on dresses and skirts. Alice picked out a short red dress with thin straps for herself. She wanted me to get a matching blue dress but I couldn't see myself in it. Another hour passed as we checked the last store. I got tired of looking so I agreed to a dull gold knee length skirt and a dark blue v-neck. Alice thought it looked wonderful but I was too tired to care. Edward was waiting in my room when I got home. He was sprawled out on my bed reading. When I opened the door he sat the book down and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me. "Have fun?" "Oh tons and tons." We smiled at each other. "Do you have anything to wear tomorrow?" "Of course. What do you think I did all day? Wait for you?" "I could see you doing that." "I would." He hugged me close. I bet he didn't even leave.


	7. Chapter 7

Everyone was so happy. Parents waited proudly in the audience as we received our diplomas. Charlie was in the 3rd row waving at me. I nearly tripped as I waved back. Edward was behind me and luckily he caught my arm. Carlisle and Esme were in the front row. Alice was dancing along the stage waving to them. We all made it across and stood in lines. Everyone in the audience stood and cheered. I had never seen Charlie so happy. Too bad his mood was going to be totally ruined. Edward squeezed my hand and I smiled. I had to make everything seem normal and exciting.

I desperately wanted to go back to the Cullen's house but Charlie insisted I go out to dinner with him, Billy, and Jacob. Edward wasn't happy but he couldn't protest. We ate at some diner within Forks. It wasn't the best place but the steak was pretty good. I chatted with Jake about what it was like to finally be done with school. Charlie had cut in and mentioned that I wasn't done with school. He said he would drag me to a collage if he had to. It was a lighthearted evening that I enjoyed more than I thought I would. When we got home I immediately kicked off my dangerous high heels and walked slowly up the stairs.

"Off to bed Bells?"

"Long day dad." He nodded and went into the living room.

Of course Edward was waiting for me. He smiled as I dragged myself in. I let myself collapse on the bed.

"Tired?"

"Exhausted."

"I'm not."

"Obviously."

He sat on the bed next to me.

"Bella would you like me to leave so you can get some sleep?"

"No, just stop talking."

He laughed. "I guess we can talk about you moving in with me in the morning."

I shot up. "Moving in…with you?"

"Well I thought that would be best now. You know, considering we are going to have a child and all."

It did make sense. Even though Charlie couldn't tell me no, I doubted that he would let me go without a fight. His dislike of Edward ran deep.

"If you don't want to I can understand."

"Yeah I want to move in with you! Edward nothing would make me happier!" I jumped up and threw my arms around him.

I got up the next day alone. I didn't know where Edward was but it didn't bother me too much. He had things to do. I pulled my messy hair up into a pony tail and went downstairs. Charlie was reading the newspaper at the table. Across from him sat Edward. I was so shocked that I stopped dead.

"Bella are you alright?" Charlie was staring at me.

"Yeah I just…I didn't expect Edward here this early."

He smiled his crooked smile.

"He just got here a few minutes ago. Said he wanted to talk to me about something." "I'm sorry I interrupted."

"No Bella please get some breakfast. You should be here for this too." His face was utterly calm.

Now I was suspicious. What was he going to tell Charlie? I walked passed him and started to get a bowl of cereal.

"Charlie I finally took your advice and got myself a job. You were right when you said I couldn't live off Carlisle's money forever. I've been working for about a month now and things are really going well."

"Well Edward I'm glad to hear it. People your age just don't know how to work hard. They don't put any effort into getting their lives started on their own."

A job? He didn't have a job.

"I agree. Carlisle has always taught me that a man needs to stand on his own two feet."

"I always liked the doctor. He is a good man."

"I'm lucky to have him as a father."

There was along silence broken only by my crunching. I was leaning against the counter listening to their simple conversation. Where was Edward going with this?

"Charlie I have really been thinking about the future these last few months."

Charlie eyed him.

"I think I'm ready to really get things started. I want to get my own place and…"

"Son just get to the point. We both know you didn't come here to chit chat."

My eyes turned to Edward. He was staring directly at Charlie.

"I'm here to ask Bella to come live with me at my new apartment."

There was a long silence. The 2 men stared at each other. I hadn't even realized I wasn't chewing any more. What was he thinking?

Charlie looked at me.

"Well Bells, what's it going to be?"

My mouth dropped open but no sound came out.

"Do you want to live with this boy?"

"Bella I thought it would be more appropriate to talk to you and Charlie."

They were both looking at me now.

"I…well yeah I think…I mean I do want to live here but…I would love to…"

"Bella you're an adult. You need to decide what your doing with you life."

"Dad I do want to live with Edward but I don't want to leave you here all alone."

"I'm not an old man Bella. I managed to survive without you for years, I think I can do it again."

Edward smiled at me.

"Then yeah, I guess I will move in with you Edward."

His smile grew wider and he stood to hug me.

"Well when is all this happening?"

I looked up at Edward. We both knew it would have to be soon.

"I'm not rushing you Bella. You can come whenever you want to love."

"Bella you can take all the furniture from your room if want."

"Oh don't worry I have everything she needs. Not to mention you might want to keep them in case she changes her mind."

I smiled. Like that was going to happen.

Edward took me to his apartment just outside of Forks. We made our way up to the second floor where he unlocked a plain white door. The outside didn't look that promising so I prepared myself for the worst. He lead me inside. There was a long silence.

"Bella I didn't say you had to close your eyes."

I hadn't even realized I had them shut. Slowly I opened them up and the site nearly made my knees give out. The place was beautiful. Tan leather sofas filled the center of the living room. Up on the wall was flat screen that I knew I would probably never watch. A bookcase rested against the far wall, filled with various titles. Everything was decorated in rich earthy colors. The kitchen was small but perfect for us. Everything in is was black and brand new. It was filled with human food. The thought made me laugh.

Hand in hand we walked to the master bedroom. Nearly everything in it was made of dark cherry wood. The bed was a large four poster with jet black bedding. Large dressers were pressed against the wall along with a desk and computer. It was barely lit by the small lamps on the bed side tables. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. I walked over and sat on the bed. I sunk into it.

"Edward this is wonderful."

"I'm glad your happy. Alice demanded to help decorate."

"Remind me to thank her for not going over board."

"I made her swear she would stick to my tastes and not do anything to extravagant."

He wrapped his arm around me.

"I couldn't stop her when it came to the baby's room though."

"How did she do that?"

"What do you mean love?"

"What colors did she use?"

He sighed and stood up. I wondered what was wrong. He walked over to the door and laid his hand on the door knob.

"Alice knows the sex of the baby. I didn't know if we wanted to know what the sex was yet so I didn't look."

"So if I go in there I will know what I'm having?"

I jumped up and ran to the door. He smiled and stood aside so I could run through. The door next to ours was also plain white. It had a small sign on it that said "BABY". I pushed the door slowly open. Before I could say a word Edward wrapped his arms around me and whispered.

"Blue always was one of my favorite colors."


	8. Chapter 8

The next day was full of slow human paced moving. Emmett wanted to just carry everything out at his normal speed but with Charlie around that wasn't allowed. It was funny to watch Emmett grumble as he carried out my suitcases. I didn't think Edward was going to stop laughing. Charlie kept trying to instruct Emmett on how to fit all the suitcases into the Volvo. It was easy to see that Emmett was getting frustrated.

"Man I know how to put a bag in a car!"

"Look kid I'm just saying your not going to be able to fit all that in there."

"Charlie this car isn't half as small as you think it is."

"That don't mean it isn't too small for all that stuff."

"Its not too small!"

In the end we managed to get everything into the car but Emmett had to follow us home on foot since there was no extra room. There was no one around when we got home so Edward and Emmett quickly ran everything upstairs in a matter of seconds. Sometimes it was really nice have vampires as part of your family. I unpacked while the two men sat in the living room and talked. It was nice but a little odd having my own place. When I was done I decided to go and explore my sons room more. Wow. My sons room. It was kind of weird to think of it that way.

I sat down in a rocking chair and looked around. The crib was painted white wood with blue bedding. There were various stuffed animals every where. A large shiny sigh was hung on the wall over the crib. On it were the words, "IT'S A BOY!" I smiled and held my still small stomach.

"I wouldn't bet against Alice but I always kind of saw myself having a girl."

The baby moved beneath my fingers.

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend you."

"Enjoying yourself?"

Edward was standing in the doorway watching me.

"Yes actually. I just wanted to take a better look at this room."

"I think my dear sister may have gone a little over board with the mini fridge and television."

"Maybe she was just thinking about the future?" He smiled and walked over to kneel in front of me. Slowly he lowered his head to my stomach and rested it there. I wanted so bad to know what he was thinking about. He never seemed unhappy but he wasn't as excited as any other soon to be dad usually was. Not that I could blame him. This all was just as shocking to him as it was everyone else. Things would get better when the baby was born.

"I hear his heartbeat."

I stared at him.

"Really?"

"Yes, its very fast."

"Oh, is that bad?"

"No Carlisle said all babies have faster heartbeats than older children and adults."

My worry stopped at once. Edward lifted his head and stared at me. He reached up to stroke the side of my face. His cool skin felt so good. I let my eyes close. His hand drifted down to my neck before he leaned up to kiss me. The kiss said something more than what it intended. There was something in it that I barely caught. Was it need? The idea scared me a little but not enough. I leaned towards him and deepened the kiss. As soon as he felt this he pulled me down off the chair and onto his lap. His hands pulled me as close as he could. I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips felt like they were melting together. I barely noticed as he picked me up and carried me into our bedroom. It seemed like he picked me up and immediately my back was on the bed.

He stood between my legs and kissed down my neck. I twisted my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. A growl escaped his lips as he moved back up to my mouth. As his hands drifted down my waist fear gripped me. All the memories of that night flooded back to me. The pain seemed so real. It was like I was feeling it all over again. Edward didn't seem to notice my sudden lack of movement. He continued to kiss and pull at me. I tried to make myself move again but I just couldn't. I was terrified. He pulled my shirt over my head. I didn't stop him. His lips on my shoulder gave me chills. My hands found his face and I brought it to mine. When he saw my face he must have realized what was wrong.

"Bella?" he breathed.

"I…"

"What's wrong love?"

"Will you…will you promise me that this wont be like before?"

He stared at me. Understanding crossed his features.

"Bella that will never happen again. I will not hurt you."

After that his movements were gentle and slow. I wondered if he was afraid to go to fast now. His hands moving over didn't feel uncontrolled. His lips were slow but doing all the right things. I held onto his neck as he kissed mine. I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me up. He moved us further into the bed so that he was laying with me. I started unbuttoning his shirt while he pulled down my zipper. As he pulled my pants off I felt scared again but it wasn't because I didn't trust him. I remembered the pain from the first time and hoped it would be easier this time. Edward smiled at me.

"If this isn't what you want…"

"Of course I want this."

"I feel like your doing this for me."

"Not just for you. I need this too. Things wont get better if we don't try."

He understood what I was trying to say.

"It wont be like before, I swear it. I wont hurt you again."

He pulled away to take his pants off. I took several deep breaths. It wasn't going to be the same. It wasn't going to hurt like before. This time it was about love not lust. Love not lust. I continued to repeat that to myself as he kissed his way back up my body. His eye locked with mine. It wasn't going to be like before. I could see it in his eyes. He was in control. I felt him press against me. My body unwillingly arched at his touch. He smiled at me. His member pressed against me again, causing the same reaction.

"Ready?"

I closed my eyes.

"Yes."

He slowly pushed into me. It was painful but not like before. My body was on its way to getting used to intercourse. Edward pulled out and then back in. His pace was slow but steady. The more he pushed his length into me the better it felt. Soon I was grabbing his back and pulling him closer. That crooked smile graced his face as he pushed harder. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped. He growled in response. Before long he was pounding against me. Our movement was making the bed shake. I started rocking my hips against his. This must have excited him because he started moving faster. I could barely keep up. I could no longer contain my moans of pleasure. They seemed to be maker things better for him. Every time I made a sound he stepped up his pace a bit. He growled against my throat. His body was slamming into mine. I reached my arms up to brace against the head board. We were steadily moving up the bed. He straightened himself up on his arms and continued his inhuman pace. I couldn't help it anymore.

"Edward…"

He paused for less than second.

"Bella, say it again."

"Edward…"

Before I finished saying his name he growled louder than ever and pushed into me hard. My body reacted to his and arched up. I felt my body getting closer. I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

"Edward…so close."

His only response was a growl. Suddenly he moved faster. Pumping himself into me harder than before. We must have reached our orgasms at the same time. I felt his final thrust as my fingers dug into the bed. He pulled out and rolled over to lay next to me. His breathing sounded just as ragged as mine. He reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Bella dear, how do you feel?"

"Well, I feel better than I have in a long time."

He laughed.

"You were right."

"About what?"

"That was much better than the first time."

"Glad you enjoyed it."


	9. Chapter 9

It seemed like everyday we had someone visiting us. One day it was Alice, the next it was Esme. I didn't mind them coming over but I really just wanted to get used to my new home. It felt weird not having to get up and make breakfast. Edward always had it made before I got up. One of the many advantages of not having to sleep I guess. We lived happily enough. Edward started keeping blood stored in the house so that he wouldn't have to leave me.

Now that I was finally starting to show Edward got more paranoid as ever. He didn't want me to do anything. Whenever I started to get up to get something he would run and get it for me. Esme invited us over one day to visit but Edward felt we should stay home. Wonder why. It was starting to get annoying. One day I finally got sick of it.

"Will you please let me do it!"

"Bella I just don't want you to strain yourself."

"Edward I am fine. You know I manage to bath myself! I cant believe you haven't insisted on doing that for me to!"

"I doubt that would be very safe on your part."

I ignored his sexual intent.

"Edward let me do things for myself. Your making me miserable!"

I guess that wasn't the right thing to say. His face became very upset and he hugged me. I obviously hurt his feeling. I didn't mean to but geeze. I am an adult. I should be able to do things for myself. I didn't need him to do everything for me.

"Bella I'm sorry."

"Its fine…"

"I just don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

I knew just how he felt but making me into a slug wasn't going to help any. He let go of me and walked over to turn on the TV. He wasn't watching it. He never watched TV. I wondered into the kitchen to find something to snack on. We didn't have any chips. I decided to go to the store. I don't know why though, he wasn't going to let me go. He would insist on going himself.

"Hey Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"I think I'm going to go to the store."

Silence.

"Were are the keys?"

Silence.

"I'll just check over…"

"Bella do you mind if I join you?"

Surprise.

"No of course not, please come."

He stood up and held the door open for me. I stepped out and started down the stairs to the Volvo. Edward held the car door open and shut it once I was inside. The ride there was silent but not uncomfortable. When we got into the store I had like 10 more cravings than when I left the house. Edward followed me through the store and laughed as I threw things into the cart. I got apples, Doritos, mint chocolate chip ice cream, hotdogs, doughnuts, crackers, a watermelon, 5 different bags of candy, and some raspberry tea. Edward carried all the bags to the car and into the house.

I was following him up the stairs when pain blossomed into my stomach. It was the worst pain yet. I tripped up the steps and fell onto the landing. I didn't hear Edward come but when I opened my eyes he was at my side. I couldn't think about anything but the pain. I held my stomach and tried to ride it out but it felt like it was getting worse. Edward was trying to lift me up but the movement caused more pain. When I screamed he immediately put me back. His hand was over mine on my stomach. I kept waiting for the pain to stop but it didn't seem to be going away.

"Bella what's happening?"

"I…don't…know," I gasped.

"I need to get you to Carlisle."

"But it hurts," I said through clenched teeth.

"I can see that but he can help us figure out what's happening."

"AHHHH!"

This time it felt like someone was stabbing me. It was a burning pain that all too painfully reminded me of James. It was like wave after wave slammed into me. I could barely breath. Edward wrapped his arm around me to try and help me up. I heard him gasp but I didn't know what it was from. He lifted me up into his arms and started down the stairs. I looked behind us before he turned the corner and saw the puddle of blood where I had been

We got to Carlisle faster than I thought. By the time we arrived at the large white house my pain had lessened. Edward Carrie my up to his fathers office where we found Carlisle and Alice waiting for us.

"Lay her down here Edward."

"Bella do you feel any pain?" Alice asked in her high voice.

"Yeah," I whispered.

I wasn't sure why I was whispering.

"She collapsed on the stairs and seconds later I smelled the blood."

"Do you know how much?" Carlisle asked.

"Not enough to hurt the baby. At least I don't think."

They spoke some more but I drifted in and out. I was thinking about the baby. My eyes were burning. Tears covered my face and I hadn't even realize it. Alice wiped my face with her cold hand. She smiled and it seemed genuine. She must have seen what happened. If she looked this calm then things must end up okay. I didn't think she would hide anything from me. Edward leaned over to talk to me.

"Bella Carlisle is going to give you something to put you out for a little while so he can figure out what is going on okay?"

I didn't like the idea of not knowing what was happening but if it would help I didn't think I was going to refuse.

"Okay. Are you leaving?"

"No love, I'm not going anywhere."

Carlisle approached me with a large needle. I turned to look at Edward so that I didn't have to see. The pinch of the need was the last thing I felt. Edward was still leaning over me as my vision faded. The last thing that went through my mind was how bad I wanted some chips.


	10. Chapter 10

I watched Bella's eyes fade and shut. She looked so peaceful. You would never have known that just moments ago she was in terrible pain. Her hand went limp in mine so I set it on her chest. A small amount of blood was still flowing from her but it was nothing to Carlisle. I was used to it sealed away under her skin but when it was in the air it still intoxicated me. Of course it wasn't bothering me now, not when the love of my life and possibly my child were in danger.

"Edward come help me prop her legs up. I need to get a look at her cervix."

I made my way to the end of the bed where Carlisle was already placing one of Bella's legs up into a metal sling. He pushed the ends up her dress up so that he could get the light in place. I watched as he felt around inside her. His face never changed. He wore the same concentrated concerned look the whole time. If my heart was still beating I know it would have been racing. The fact that I had no idea what was going on was killing me. I paced around the small room while he continued his examination. When I heard him pull off his latex gloves I turned.

"No need to worry. Bella and the baby are fine."

I released the breath I hadn't known I was holding.

"Then where did all the blood come from?"

"Well I don't know what she was doing but it seems she tore one of her wounds."

I couldn't stop the flinch. Again this was my fault. All her pain was because of me. She wouldn't be laying there on the bed unconscious if I hadn't lost control. Why did I even take her to that house? Carlisle must have sensed my distress.

"Edward don't beat yourself up over this. You cant change the past. Bella doesn't seem to be blaming you at all for this. You should try to forget this and live for the future that you now have."

"Forget about it? How can I possibly forget that I raped her and tore her apart from the inside!"

"Edward dwelling on it isn't going to help anyone. Your just going to hurt yourself and possibly Bella if continue to feel like this. She wouldn't be here if she hadn't forgiven you."

I didn't speak. I just stared at Bella. She was so beautiful. Even in pain I was marveled by her face. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. The fact that she didn't demand to never see me again after what I had done was amazing. When I saw her body on the floor that night, so small, I couldn't believe what I had done. Her body was covered in bruises. She looked dead. I tried to pick her up but my body wouldn't let me. I remember finding my way outside and remaining there until she found me. Why she still loves me, I'll never know. What woman would come back to a man that raped her and nearly killed her?

A half an hour passed before Bella began to stir. Her eyes fluttered and her fingers twitched. I sat next to her, watcher her every movement. Carlisle had cleaned her up and had Alice quickly redress her in something that wasn't covered in blood. When she finally seemed awake a smile graced her perfect lips. Her eyes locked with mine. I couldn't help but smile in return.

"Are we okay?"

I knew she was referring to herself and our son.

"Yes love. Your both fine."

"What was wrong?" Her voice sounded weak.

"You just tore open some wounds."

I looked away from her. Her small warm hand wrapped around my face and made me look at her.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"You know what Edward."

"Love I really don't…"

"Stop hating your self. I'm sick of it. I don't blame you and you shouldn't either."

"Bella…"

"No. Please just be happy with me. We have so much more to be happy about than we do to be sad. We're alive, we're together, and we have a baby boy on the way."

I couldn't stop the smile that came. Even though I had never said anything, I was beyond joyous that we were having a child. I spent my whole life thinking that I would never have a child. I would never be father. Now here I was with the love of my life and she was carrying my son. My son. What an amazing thought.

"Bella dear have you thought of any names?"

She smiled. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Well I had a few thoughts but I don't want to say."

"Why not?"

"Well I think that when I see him for the first time the name that's right will just come to me you know?"

"So what your saying is that I don't get to have a say in the name of my son?"

As I laughed she poked her bottom lip out in an attempt to be cute. I must say that I worked perfectly.

"If that's what you think will happen then I trust you."

She sat up and reached out for me. I hugged her tight before she pulled away. She traced her fingers around my face. They trailed down my neck and I shivered. She could do such amazing things to me without even knowing it. I knew she didn't know what she was doing to me. She seemed to be thinking. Her hand made its way down my chest. I tried to keep myself calm while her hand went back up. Bella smiled at me. She must have noticed.

"Want to go home?"

I just nodded.

She wiggled her way off the bed and onto my lap.

"Dear Edward, what is wrong?"

Her teasing was very attractive.

"Bella, as much as I want to play along I think we should wait."

She stiffened but relaxed almost as fast.

"I know, sometimes I just don't think."

I stroked her hair.

"Save this for another time love, right now you need rest."

I lifted her up into my arms and walked out of the room. No one seemed to be home. I couldn't hear a sound any where in the house. I gently placed her into the Volvo and quickly got into the other side. All I wanted was to get her home and into bed safely. She had made it very clear that she wanted to do things for herself but after today I hoped that she would be a little more willing to let me care for her. It was the least I could do for her since it was my fault she was in the shape she was in.

When we got home I laid her in the bed and went to get something to eat. I quickly threw together a small plate of fruit. Her eyes lit up when I returned. Obviously I had picked the right thing. She eagerly ate while I changed clothes. I felt her eyes on me and smiled. She finished the plate in a matter of minutes and placed it on the bed side table. I joined her in bed and sat quietly."I wont be doing a lot on my own now will I?"

"I would rather you didn't."

"Well I don't think I'm going to argue with you."

The shock must have been obvious on my face.

"That's…grand love."

She smiled and closed her eyes. I knew she was asleep before the small snore escaped her lips. She was so beautiful while she slept. I wondered what she was dreaming about. It had been so long since I dreamed that I couldn't quite remember what it was like. I wondered if she would miss it. Did I miss it?


	11. Chapter 11

We had been living together for about 3 weeks when Charlie called Edwards cell phone. I was alone in the living room as it started to ring. Edward was outside talking to Jasper. I picked up the phone and sighed as I saw the number. I knew he would call but I was hoping he wouldn't call so soon. My now fairly large stomach reminded me that I couldn't receive a visit from him. What would I tell him?

"Hello."

"Hello, Bella?"

"Oh hi dad! I didn't think you would call Edwards phone."

"Well I don't have any other way to contact you."

"I'm getting a cell phone later this week, when I get it I'll get you the number."

"Well that's good. How are things? How do you like living on your own?"

"Things are great dad. It's kind of weird being here alone when Edward leaves but other than that I love it."

That wasn't the answer he really wanted.

"Well I'm happy for you Bells. You know you can come over here whenever he isn't around."

"I know dad."

"So when do I get to see this place of yours?"

What could I tell him that wouldn't hurt his feelings?

"Right now isn't a good time. We're having a new water heater put in and it's a mess. I don't want you to see the place like this."

"Oh well that's fine. Maybe sometime next week?"

"Yeah we should have it cleaned up by then."

"Alright Bella, well I got to get to the station. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will, bye dad."

"Bye Bells."

I shut the phone and leaned back against the couch. I knew I couldn't put him off for ever. What would he say when he saw me? I look like I'm 7 months pregnant. I would have been pregnant while I was still in school. He was going to be furious. He already didn't like Edward. How would he feel about him after this? 

"Something wrong with our water heater?"

Edward walked around the couch and sat next to me. 

"I had to say something. I'm not ready to face him yet."

"Oh I wasn't complaining. I thought it was a great lie."

"I hate lying to him."

"I know love."

He put his arm over my shoulders. I traced small circles onto the back of his hand. The shiver that ran through his baby as obvious. It made me smile. He was so easy to get him going. I brushed my hand along his leg and felt his fingers clench my hair. I wasn't much fun these days. Because I was so big I didn't feel like doing anything and Edward wasn't handling it so well. At first he was incredibly strong. He never even acted like he wanted to have sex. But as the weeks passed it became really obvious that his urges were getting the better of him. He tried and tried to lure me to him but I was feeling so bad that I just ignored him. 

I walked in the bedroom once to find him with his head pressed against the wall. When I asked him what he was doing the only answer I got was a growl. I didn't see him again that day until we went to bed. He was now taking 6 or so showers a day. I knew I should be trying more to avoid turning him on but I just couldn't help it. The power I had over him was so unreal. No one had ever been like this with me before. I continued to brush my hand on his leg. I really didn't notice that he was shaking beneath my fingers. I did notice when his lips touched my ear.

"Bella…"

"I'm sorry Edward…"

"Please, I'll be gentle."

I tried to hide the way he was making me feel but I failed miserably.

"You want it too."

"Edward I…"

His lips caught mine before I could finish. His need was much too evident. I couldn't stop myself though. My hands wrapped in his hair and I pushed myself against him. It was a little awkward with my belly but he didn't seem to notice. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed along my jaw and down my neck. I moaned and his kissing increased. We were really getting into it when I felt a cramp in my stomach. I tried to ignore but a few minutes later it came back. Edward pulled away from me.

"What's wrong?" he breathed.

"Its just a cramp…"

I stopped as more pain came.

"Bella are you sure?"

"No."

I gasped. Edward helped me stand up. He held my arms to keep me steady. The pain was getting worse and worse. It felt like my legs were going to give out. Suddenly there was a small pop! It echoed through the house. Edward stared at me. He was just as confused as I was. Our confusion was ended fairly quickly after that. We both looked down and watched as fluid ran down my legs and onto the floor. I really didn't think Edward would panic more than me but he certainly did. 

"Bella!"

"What?"

"Your water broke!"

"Yeah."

"What do we do?"

"I don't know, go to the hospital?"

"Oh! Right love. I'll get your bag."

"Edward I don't have a bag!"

"Carlisle told you to pack one!"

"I know but I thought I had more time!"

"Well we're out of time now!"

"I'm sorry!"

So then I started crying because I had no idea what to do. Edward just stood there and stared at me. We must have been quite a sight. I was leaking everywhere and he was stuck in some kind of stupor. My crying must have snapped him out of it. He turned and ran to the bedroom and was back in a heart beat carrying a duffle bag. 

"I packed all your stuff."

"Are you sure?"

"Bella if I forgot something I will run back here and get it!"

"Fine! Lets just go!"

"Bella I'm…"

"Edward now!"

He jumped and ran the bag down to the car. I was only alone for a second but it was long enough to upset me more. I started to drop to the floor when he grabbed me. I didn't even see the stairs or anything. All I knew was that I was in the Volvo racing down the road. All I could feel was pain. I was barely aware that Edward was holding my hand. He was telling me to breath but I think I screamed at him. I would probably feel bad about it later but I'm fairly certain I hate him at the moment.


	12. Chapter 12

"Carlisle her water broke!"

I held Bella's hand as we made our way to the hospital. My phone was against my ear. I had never been so panicked in my life. I wasn't even sure when it happened. One second I was standing there with Bella and the next my mind was going insane. The whole time I was trying to get things back together she was standing in the living room crying. Now that we were on our way to the hospital I was starting to calm down. That wouldn't be true for long though. Not with Bella screaming and Carlisle talking about 8 different things.

"Edward I need you to calm down and listen to me."

"I'm sorry about yelling but Bella is making me a nervous wreck."

"Well son you really should try to understand. She must be in terrible pain."

I glanced over at her. Her face was bright red and shiny. She was breathing is rough huffs. When she screamed again I pressed on the gas peddle harder.

"When did her water break?"

"About 10 minutes ago."

"Was she having any pain before that?"

"Yes, she said it was like a cramp."

"Alright that sounds like she was having contractions. That's a good thing. Do you know how far apart they are?"

"Bella love, Carlisle needs to know how far apart your pain is."

"How far apart? Really Edward? Cant you tell! It hasn't stopped!"

"She says there is no in between."

"Oh, well that's all I need to know. I'll be waiting for you in the lobby."

I shut the phone and grabbed Bella's hand again. Her grip was nothing to mine but for a human it was strong. Her knuckles were white. The hospital was just around the corner. There was that strange panic again. Even though I didn't need to breath I started taking quick short breath. The parking lot felt like it stretched forever. I glanced at Bella. Her eyes were closed tight and she was breathing hard. I pulled into a close spot and jumped out. I swung the bag over my shoulder and helped Bella out. I picked her up and started for the doors. Carlisle was there waiting. He had a wheel chair at his side. Gently placed Bella in it and let Carlisle push her to an elevator. If I could sweat I knew I would be. Everything was going too fast.

When the elevator finally came to a stop we were on the 3rd floor. A sign above us read, "Maternity Center". Carlisle lead us through a large set of double doors that opened as we approached. Inside were several desks and nurses running around everywhere. There were many doors along the left wall. Each one had a large number on it. We stopped outside room 2304. Inside was a huge medical bed and all sorts of supplies. IV stands, computers, surgical instraments, and an incubator. The site of all the blue baby supplies calmed me for only a second.

"Edward help me get her onto the bed. We arnt laying her down yet, just sitting her up there. She still needs to change."

Once Bella was on the bed Carlisle handed me a gown and left. Even though she was in pain, Bella worked with me on getting her clothes off and the gown on. I helped her lay back on the bed and held her hand. Nurses started coming in and pressing on her stomach and checking her vital signs. Then a doctor came in with a clipboard.

"Miss Bella Swan?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"I'm Doctor West. I'm here to see if you want the epidural for this birth."

"Yes doctor, I want it."

"Alright well I need to read the possible side effects and how the procedure…"

"No, I need it now."

"Miss Swan…"

"NOW!"

I stared at the doctor. He was stunned.

"Umm…well I'll just have a nurse go over this with you and…"

He smiled and walked out.

"Bella dear I think you scared him."

"Yeah well he should have listened to me."

I laughed.

A few minutes later a nervous looking woman came in with a large cart.

"Bella I'm Kim. "I'm here to give you the epidural."

Bella sighed in relief.

"Okay I need you to sit here on the end of the bed and lean forward. Hunch your back. Mr Cullen would you please help keep her still. This wont hurt but you cannot move while the needle is in."

I moved forward and grabbed Bella's hands. She smiled at me. The first one in nearly an hour.

"Here is the numbing gel."

Bella gasped.

"It will only be cold for a second before it gets warm. Now I'm going to put the needle in, hold perfectly still."

Seconds passed and suddenly Bella squeezed my hands. She was holding her breath. I stared into her eyes, trying to reasure her.

"Bella I need you to tell me if you feel anything. Your legs should start to feel numb, almost like they are asleep."

Silence.

"Yeah my left leg is starting to feel weird."

"That's good. Do you feel any pressure in your back? Any pain?"

"No, just warmth."

"That's perfect. I'm going to have you lay back down and we are going to monitor your blood pressure for a while."

I helped Bella lay down and watched as the nurse set her up to have her blood pressure taken. Bella had her eye closed. Her breathing was still somewhat harsh but not like before. I watched as her chest moved up and down. Her hand loosened in mine. Hopefully her pain was fading away. The room was totally silent as the nurse read things off the computer screen. I didn't know how much time passed but after a while the nurse walked back around to talk to us.

"Okay miss Swan. Everything seems to be going good. If anything changes, just hit your call botton and let me know."

Bella nodded and the woman left.

"How do you feel love?" I asked.

"Edward are you okay?"

"I think I asked you first."

"Don't you think for one second that I didn't notice how you were acting."

"What?" I was genuinely confused.

"Edward you were panicking. You were freaking out."

I stared at her.

"I saw it in your eyes."

"Well love you must understand. This is all just as new to me as it is to you."

She smiled.

"Right. Guess I forgot."

I kissed her hand gently. We sat in silence for a long time. She was looking around the room. I set my hand on her stomach. She didn't seem to notice. It was hard to believe that in a short time I would have my son. Just as I had this thought a small bump moved under my hand. It was a marvle every time. My thoughts were interrupted as Carlisle came in.

"Bella how do you feel?"

"Better than I did when I got here."

"Good good. I need to check your cervix and see how far you are dilated."

She sighed but did not object.

We had to lift her legs because they were too numb for her to move.

"8cm."

"Edward that's so close!"

She sounded excited but I didn't return it. Everything in me froze. My brain, however, was going a million miles an hour. Too much as happening too fast. I couldn't think straight. I wasn't ready for this. I hadn't spent enough time thinking about it. Bella was talking to me but I didn't hear a word of it.

"I…"

"Edward, son whats wrong?"

"I…Bella I don't think I'm ready…"


	13. Chapter 13

**Author Note Thing: I'm so sorry i didnt post yesterday guys. i had alot to do. i worked hard to get this done today so that i didnt disapoint. you guys mean alot to me and i want to keep posting quick so that you dont have to wait long. i know i hate to wait too. **

**no this is not the last chapter (in case you thought it was)**

I watched as Edward ran from the room. I couldn't believe what he said.

"_I…Bella I don't think I'm ready…"_

He seemed so ready up until Carlisle told us how close it was. Things seemed to be happening so fast now. Nurses were running in and out. They were checking monitors and bringing in various things. I tried to answer all their questions but my mind was going a million miles an hour. Carlisle had tried to comfort me. He told me Alice would get Edward. Of course she would have seen him as soon as he decided to leave. What if he was serious? What if he really wasn't ready and he wasn't coming back?

"Bella we need to check your cervix again."

I sighed and tried to move my legs but they wouldn't budge. The nurse smiled and moved them for me. I waited while she felt around. This was definitely going way to fast. She pulled her hand out and started removing her glove.

"Alright I'm going to get the resident nurse and let her know that we're ready."

I froze.

"We're ready? Like we're ready to have the baby?"

"Yes dear, you're dilated to 10cm."

"Oh god…"

"It's a good thing Bella. It means the baby is ready."

"But I cant have the baby yet, Edward isn't here!"

"Dr. Cullen said he is going to make sure that Edward gets back here. I'll page him now."

She walked away towards the door. I looked at all the monitors. This wasn't happening. I was not having this baby alone. How could he run off on me like that? I cant do this alone! All the beeping noises were too loud. My own breathing was too loud. Too much. Too much. Too much. TOO MUCH! I couldn't make myself calm down. I turned to the screen next to me. It was screaming at me that my heart rate was to high. I couldn't believe no one else could hear that. It was so loud.

"Stop beeping!"

It kept going.

"Stop it!"

No response.

"Please! Please stop!"

Still nothing.

The door burst open. It was Esme.

"Bella what's wrong?"

"It wont stop!"

"You have to calm down dear."

"I cant!"

"Bella everything is fine, just calm down."

She brushed the hair out of my face. Her hand was so cool.

"Esme he left me!" my voice faded into a cry.

I couldn't stop the tears.

"Its going to work out. Alice is with him. He will come back."

Nurses started flooding in.

"Mrs. Cullen we're going to start now, are you going to be her support person?"

"I guess I have to be, if that's all right with you Bella."

"Yes, please don't leave."

Esme gripped my hand.

"Okay Bella we're going to move you to the end of the bed."

I nodded.

"Can you feel the contractions?"

"I fell pressure."

"That's perfect. Every time you feel it, I want you to push."

I nodded again.

"Alright ready?"

"Yea…yeah."

I felt the pressure start and I pushed. My body seemed to know exactly what to do. As the pressure faded I relaxed.

"Good Bella."

Again I pushed. It didn't feel like I was getting any where with this.

"I'm going to get the doctor. Bella you are doing great, this baby is going to be out quick." The nurse smiled and left.

"Keep pushing," said another nurse.

"You can do this," Esme said.

It felt like I was pushing forever before I heard Carlisle's voice. He spoke quickly to the nurses. Esme was talking to me but I had no idea what she was saying.

"…he's on his way dear."

"What?"

"Edward is coming now, he should be here in…"

"What? How long?"

I looked at her and saw the smile on her face just before I saw his. He did come back. Edward took my hand from Esme and looked down at me. I must have looked awful. "Bella you look beautiful."

"Don't…you…ever…leave me…again."

My words were quite but I knew he could hear me.

"I wont, never again."

He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. I started to push again and Carlisle called to me.

"Bella I can see the head."

"What?" Edward and I said at the same time.

"The head, its almost out. You need to keep pushing."

I panicked and started pushing harder. It felt like my head was going to explode. Edward was talking to me but I wasn't listening. My whole mind was focused on pushing.

"Okay the head is out Bella, just the shoulders now."

I pushed one more time and felt the instant relief. Seconds later I heard it. The small but loud cry. My eyes filled with tears. Edward was staring at the baby I couldn't see. His face looked amazed. I wasn't able to ask for him. Carlisle spoke first.

"Bella we need to get the placenta out. While we do that, the nurses are cleaning up the baby. I assume you know it is a boy?I smiled and nodded.

The placenta didn't take long. It was like having another baby but with out all the intense pain. Carlisle pushed on my stomach to move it out. I only had to push once for it to come out. He removed it and nurses began cleaning me up. I barely noticed. Edward left my side to go see the baby. I watched him as he went over and picked up the tiny bundle. He was walking over when the nurses sat me up. Edward sat on the edge of the bed and looked at me. His eyes were shining. He handed me our son.

I had never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life. He looked a lot like Edward but his hair was dark like mine. It covered his head but was still short. I ran a finger through his soft chocolate hair. When he opened his eyes they were a dark gray color. I had heard that all babies are born with that color but it changes in the first year. I really hoped they would look like Edwards. His tiny face was round and chubby. His soft skin was covered in red blotched. I couldn't look away from him.

"Well love, what name suits him?"

I thought about it for a while. I looked down at him. He looked up at me for the first time. I knew right then what his name would be.

"I think I know what his name should be."

"Well?"

"Hello my little Zackary Nathanial Cullen."

Edward smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

"Damnit Zackary!"

"What did he do now?" I yelled.

"He broke the family portrait frame…again!"

Edward came around the corner carrying the broken frame. He threw it down and sat on the bed next to me. He looked as exhausted as I felt. Zackary was running us ragged. He was a non-stop trouble machine. Edward even had trouble keeping up with him. It seemed like we had replaced everything in the house at least once since he had started walking. No one told me this was going to be so hard. How could one kid cause so much damage. He couldn't even talk yet!

The first time Charlie visited Zackary was 2 weeks old. He came by every so often to see us. On Zackary's first birthday everyone came. I had told her and was surprised at how excited she was. His birthday was the first time she saw him. It didn't go great. We put him in the high chair and went to get the cake. When we came back he had opened all the gifts and had Emmett in a choke hold. He made it look like he was letting Zackary do it so that Renee and Charlie wouldn't get suspicious. I'm fairly certain everyone was happy to leave that day.

"Bella what are we going to do with him?"

It was a conversation we had had many times before.

"I don't know. Its like he's unstoppable."

Zackary toddled in. His dark brown hair was covered in something white. Edward and I both sighed and stood up. I went to run the bath while Edward took off Zackary's clothes. I waited while the tub filled up. I could hear them laughing. No matter how evil that kid might act, he was still our baby. A few minutes later Edward carried him in and sat him in the hot water. Zackary had the same cold skin that Edward did so we made his baths a little hotter than normal. As I washed the stuff out of his chocolate hair I noticed his perfect little eyes. When he was about 10 months old his eyes had finally changed. They turned a rich caramel color. He looked so much like Edward. If it wasn't for his dark hair I wouldn't think there was any of me in there. 

Edward sat on the floor in front of the tub and watched me scrub all the various filth off our son. We usually had to bathe him more than once a day. When I started to scrub his belly he started to laugh. I couldn't help but smile. His laugh was so high and clear. Edward smiled with me. The moment was ruined though, when Zackary started splashing large amounts of water onto us and the floor. Edward had him out and wrapped up in a towel before I could even say anything. Zackary laughed harder.

"_Bella…"_

I looked around. Edward was already out dressing Zackary. I ran to the room.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything." he said, looking back at me.

"I thought you said my name."

He shook his head.

"_Bella…"_

I looked around again. This time Edward was staring at me. 

"Please tell me you heard that."

He stood up and walked over to me.

"Bella I didn't hear anything. And if there was a sound, I would definitely have heard it better than you."

"Great, so I'm insane now."

"Why don't you lay down. Its been a long day. I'll take care of Zackary."

"Yeah…"

I started to walk away but he grabbed my hand first. He spun me around and pulled me into a deep kiss. I barely had time to get into before he released me and turned back to the baby. I sighed and walked to the bedroom. Edward had been so different since Zackary was born. He didn't seem to want to do anything with me. He always pushed me away. I ran my hand over the scar on the neck. I knew why he was different. He knew it too. The memories came rushing back to me.

_It was our first night alone after the baby was born. Esme had taken him so we could have some rest. I knew Edward couldn't wait any more than I could. We walked in the door after dropping him off and Edward grabbed me. It was obvious what he wanted. I let him carry me to our bedroom. His eyes never left mine. Before I knew it, my back was on the bed and he was pushing himself against me. I pulled his face down to mine and we devoured each others lips. I kissed his neck and felt him shutter. He growled as my hands pulled at his pants. The sound of him growling always turned me on. When all our clothes were finally off he started to push against me harder. All my desire for him to be gentle disappeared. I arched my back into him and as soon as I fell back down he pushed into me. I gasped. It hurt for only a second. He pounded hard into me and I couldn't stop my moans. He growled in response. I felt his breath against my ear._

"_Bella…"_

_He sounded so needy. _

"_Edward…"_

_The sound of my voice made him freeze momentarily but he picked right back up. It was harder this time. My whole body was shaking under his. My hands clawed at the bed. He kissed down my neck slowly. I felt his tongue trace my collar bone. It sent chills down my spine. He thrust harder into me. I was so into the moment that I didn't noticed the sudden pressure on my throat. I did, however, notice when his teeth sank into me. All pleasure was gone. I tried to push him away but his grip was like iron. _

"_Edward…please stop…"_

_I felt myself getting weaker. _

"_Please…I…"_

_He didn't even move. Fear was taking over and I started to shake violently._

"…_it…hurts…"_

_His teeth pulled away and I saw his face staring down at me. He looked both intoxicated and horrified. His topaz eyes were darker than normal. I reached up with a much too heavy hand and stroked his face before I passed out._

I knew that was why he wouldn't have sex with me. It was like it was when we first got together. He had reset up his boundaries. No matter what I did, he would pull away from me. His eyes always flickered to my neck. None of his family had said anything about what happened. We both knew Alice would have seen it. They must have known how he felt about it. Edward had apologized so many times everyday that I got tired of it. I finally told him not to talk anymore. He didn't say a word for a week. I had to scream at him to talk. Now it seemed like all that never happened. They only times we were reminded of it were the times I tried to get him to join me in bed. I laid alone in my bed. My eyes filled with tears. How had we gotten ourselves so distant. Edward laughing was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

I was laying in bed while Bella slept. Zackary was finally sleeping through the night. I didn't mind getting up with him considering I never slept. It was just nice being able to lay with Bella. The closest we ever got was when she slept. That wasn't how I wanted it but that was how it had to be. I had already proven that I couldn't be trusted. Bella didn't seem to care about what I had done. I just couldn't understand her. She was so unique. There was no human like her. She didn't care that I was a vampire, she didn't care that I took her against her will, and she didn't care that I stole her blood. What an amazing person. Or stupid.

Her breathing was deep. I couldn't help but stare at her. How lucky could I be? I brushed a strand of hair from her face. She stirred a little. She turned to face me. My shirt twisted around her small body. Again I was bothered by the fact that I couldn't read her mind. She was the only one in the world. The silence was almost eerie. I could easily see Zackary's dream from the other room. It was an image of him playing outside. I enjoyed seeing his thoughts. They are so innocent and simple. He often thinks of Bella.

"Edward…" Bella whispered.

Her voice sent chills down my spine. I wondered if she knew how hard it was to turn away from her. It took all my will power. It was much harder than it was before. Now that I had had her, I knew what I was missing. The feel of her body was much more alluring than her blood. Well, maybe I was wrong. Her body did not stop me from taking her blood before. I shuttered. Why couldn't I control myself around her? Why do I have to fight so hard against her. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice the change in her breathing.

"Edward?"

This time it wasn't sleep talking.

"Yes love?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"You look like something wrong."

I smiled at her. Sometimes I wondered if she could read _my_ mind.

Her hand touched my face. I let my face fall into it.

"I trust you."

Now I knew where she was going with this.

"Bella you know we cant."

"No, we can. What I do know is that you are taking this too far."

"Please don't…""Edward we haven't so much as made out for 13 months!"

I stared at her. She had all the needs I did. My fear of hurting her was too great though.

"We cant Bella. I don't want to hurt you."

She sighed and started to get up. She pulled on a pair of jeans and headed for the door. I reached it before she did, blocking her way out.

"Where are you going?"

"I just need some air!"

I moved out of her way. She walked straight through the apartment to the door. I grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"Bella please stay with me."

"Why Edward? So we can be 'just friends'?"

Her remark stunned me.

"Edward I love you but your acting like you did when we first met."

I didn't know what to say.

"Do you have any idea what its like having to be around a guy with a body like a god all day! Do you know the frustration that causes?"

"I think I know something about frustration."

She stared at me. Our eyes met. Then she walked out.

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't leave our son alone here. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Alice's number. It rang and rang. No answer. Now I was suffering from a whole different kind of frustration. Bella was out doing who knows what and I was stuck here. I never heard the sound of the car. That was just great. She was out walking alone! She didn't even have the safety of the Volvo. I starting dialing Esme's number this time. It rang twice.

"Hello?"

"Esme its Edward. Are you busy?"

"No dear, just sitting with Carlisle."

"Would you mind coming over and watching Zackary?"

"Of course not. I would love to."

"Thank you. Can you hurry?"

"Yes, what is the matter Edward?"

"Bella and I had a fight and now she is wondering around outside somewhere. I need to find her."

"I'll be right over dear."

I hung up and waited. We weren't too very far from them. About 20 minutes passed but it felt like hours. I nearly knocked Esme over as I ran down the stairs. I was into the woods seconds later. Bella's scent was so strong. Within moments I could smell her. She was close. I saw her in a clearing just ahead. She was leaning against a tree. It was obvious she didn't know I was coming. Before she knew I was there I pressed her up against a nearby tree. She gasped at my sudden presence. I locked my lips with hers. I let her lock her arms around my neck.

"Bella…don't you ever… leave me…again."

"Why don't…you make me stay…then."

I couldn't stop the smile that crossed my face. Did she know how amazingly sexy that little comment was? I pulled her tight against me. Her body fit against mine perfectly. Her hand dropped down to my belt. My mind screamed at me to stop her but the rest of me had no intention of doing so. My hands found her pants and pulled them off easily. She snapped my belt off and pulled down the zipper. I tore her panties off with one swipe. She pressed against me. Her heart was going so fast. Each beat was so hard to ignore. I could taster her blood in my mouth as if it was there again. I clenched my teeth. Her smell was over whelming me. I wrapped my arm around her back and lifted her up higher. When I brought her back down my member slipped easily inside her. A moan escaped her perfect lips. It nearly sent me over the edge. I found her lips again. I needed to keep my mind on her body. Not her blood. She wrapped her legs around me. Now she was moving with me. Our bodies were moving as one. The thought of her blood slowly slipped away. Soon I wasn't even thinking about it. All I could see was her face. Her breathing was harsh. I could feel her getting close. I pressed into her harder. Her head shot back and her clenched around me. Before I could stop myself I felt my own release. The only a second I knew it could be a bad thing but it passed. I focused on her breathing again. It was rough but slowing. She rested her head on my shoulder.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. Both of us resting. I finally pulled her up off of me and stood her on the ground. She wobbled but was otherwise fine. Her panties were ruined but I managed to find her pants. She pulled them on while I slipped my belt back into place. When I turned around Bella was leaning against the tree looking at me. She was smiling a dreamy smile. I walked over to her.

"Happy now?"

"Don't play like that, you know you wanted it just as much as me Edward."

"I cant lie about that."

She smiled even bigger.

"Hey, who's with Zackary?"

"Esme."

"Oh."

I wrapped my arm around her and we started walking back towards the house. Hopefully Esme didn't listen too well.


	16. Author Note About Sequel

**Okay my reader people. I am taking a break from writing this story. I think I have done good with it. I'm fairly sure I ended it alright. Its not the best ending. Don't worry though, I will be making a sequel. Its probably going to pick up a few years later. **

**I'm currently starting a new story to post. It takes place after Edward leaves. I have grand plans for it so I hope you guys give it a chance. (yes he does come back) **

**Preview of One Night Sequel: Time**

**Bella Prov**

**I hadn't seen Zackary all day. Edward said he went out with some friends but I didn't trust that kid. He never did what he said he was doing. I jumped down from the balcony. The woods stretched out in front of me. Edward was out with Emmett. I had finally convinced him to spend some time with his brother. There were deer near by. I could smell them. With a nimble leap I started into the woods. The ground felt good against my feet. It had been awhile since I had just ran. When I entered the clearing all the deer panicked. They hadn't heard me coming. I bounded after them. It was too easy.**

**Edward Prov**

**I ran next to Emmett. The smile on his face was much to obvious. Our speed continued to pick up as we raced. I could easily beat him but it was fun to give a small chance. The second I picked up the lions scent I ran ahead of him. He fell behind quickly.**

"**Hey!"**

**His yell was farther back than I had thought. **

**I easily found the lion just a few yards ahead. I picked up speed just a little more. It was so close now. As he came into sight something else caught my attention. I stopped dead. Several thoughts were coming in at once. I listened intently. Emmett was thinking about how I far ahead of him I was. Somewhere a hunter was thinking about the time. Then the ones I was looking for came in. I heard a teenage girl thinking about a movie she had seen a few years ago. She was relating it to the boy she was walking with. The boy was thinking about her. I clenched my teeth. Zackary. He was walking with this girl alone in the woods. He knew we didn't want him to do things like that. He had never harmed a human but he was still part vampire.**

**I took off into the woods without saying a word to Emmett. Hopefully he wouldn't be upset. They weren't too far away. I would be with them in a matter of minutes. I slowed my pace when I smelt a new scent. It was Bella. She was ahead of me. I sped up. I called her name. I entered a small clearing. She was standing there alone. She looked as mad as I felt.**

"**Coming to find Zackary?"**

"**I heard his thoughts."**

"**I could smell him and his girlfriend."**

"**Well lets find him."**

**We started running together.**

**I hope that is enough to keep you guys interested. Please check out my new story and make sure I'm on your story alert so you know when I post the sequel.**


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